Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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