I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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