i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
