Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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