you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
That accounts for only three of the penises
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
