I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
