No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
