it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
