i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
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I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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