today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
