I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
