I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
