wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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