Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
