just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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