Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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