I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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