the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
