Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
