what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
