I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
my shit smells like andre
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
