i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Sorry my hands just texted you
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
