i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
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So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
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We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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