So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
