to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
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I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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