Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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