Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize