Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
