Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize