Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She bit a glass in half.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
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