organizing the empties. That sober.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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