a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
