i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
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