I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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