We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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