I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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