it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
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My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
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Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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