all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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