A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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