We're facebook friends in real life
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize