Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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