I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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