i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woke up backwards on a recliner
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
