I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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