Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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