so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
