Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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