I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
