Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
