WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize