Dual....:-)
You just made me feel so damn special
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
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I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Sorry about my life...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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