maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
