You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
