This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
