# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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