I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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