the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
