Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize