What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
