Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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