I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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